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Watching Squirts throw a ball – or anything else – is like watching a physics experiment in kinetic energy. The act of launching the object from his hand involves some aspect of every visible part of his body. As his right hand pulls back with the ball, his left arm juts out with a fist curled under. His tongue sticks out in one direction or another, often giving away the final destination of the object in question. His eyes either squeeze shut or bulge open. And at the last moment his left leg lifts and swings in an awkward arch in an attempt to make the ball fly as far as possible.

If he could raise both legs at the same time, he’d probably give it a shot.

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Usually Squirts is a sponge. He hears every word, every conversation, every phrase spoken around him, soaking it in with little response or reaction. Then one day, BAM, he’ll add the words or phrases to his four-year-old vocabulary.

On one particular day last week though, the topic of conversation was too important for him to remain a quiet bystander: San Francisco’s ban on McDonald’s Happy Meals.

As he overheard me commenting on the city’s pending new law, he looked up from his row of Hot Wheels and asked, “What about Happy Meals?”

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Squirts must think that his mommy’s and daddy’s favorite word is “No.” From his perspective, it has to look like we throw the word around like confetti on New Year’s Eve. To Squirts, it must seem like our tongue is curled and our lips are pursed just waiting to spit the word out every time he asks a question. To him, it must seem like it’s just easier for us to say “No” than to reach into our store of big kids words.

“No, Squirts. You can’t have Skittles for breakfast.”

“No, Squirts. I haven’t called the police because you refused to brush your teeth.”

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Every four weeks, Squirts and I head to Shannon’s place to get our hairs cut. Since Squirts started going to a salon instead of the local SuperCuts, we haven’t had any complaints from him on hair cut days. It may be that as one of the first clients in the shop, Squirts has the undivided attention of Shannon (or as Squirts has named her, “Queen of the Hair Place”) and two or three other ladies who happen to be in that early. I’ve heard that little boys don’t like to have their cheeks pinched and be fussed over—you couldn’t prove it by my kid.

On the other hand, it could be that our monthly ritual also includes a stop at the donut shop after our hair cuts.

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