Grace

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Squirts is a pretty good eater. There aren’t many things he doesn’t like or won’t at least taste. We’ve been lucky in that way. Just don’t get in any hurry at meal time though, because he eats at one speed – slow.

But there is one food at which he consistently turns up his nose.

If he sees any chunky red things as his mom or I put salad on his plate, he always says, “Oooh, no to-may-toes for me! To-may-toes are gross!”

We reply, “Oh Squirts. Those aren’t to-may-toes, silly. Those are to-mah-toes.”

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My son’s bowels have an amazing ability to know when we’ve left the house. It’s as if they have some sort of GPS system that lights up as Squirts moves away from our home. It’s seems like the further we are from our house, the more likely they will need to, uh, move. In the year and a few months Squirts has been completely out of diapers, we’ve seen the inside of more department store, grocery store, coffee shop, ice cream shop and mall restrooms than I’ve probably seen my whole adult life.

A few months ago, Squirts and I were on our way to church. Squirts’ mom had already been there for several hours because she leads the worship arts there. On this fine Sunday morning, about halfway through our 30 minute drive to church, Squirts announces his need to go poo-poo.

After a quick glance to the back seat, I recognize the wide-eyed look that says without words “ AND NOW!” (Squirts bowels also have a certain sense of immediacy when they make their presence known.)

Visualizing the path to church, I remember a gas station and a Starbucks at the next exit.  Form past experience, I know that Squirts is very comfortable with the ambience of the Starbucks’ facilities, so that’s the direction we head.

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In the four years since Squirts was born, we’ve had a few scary moments (at least they were scary in the eyes of these two first-time parents):

  • As a newborn, Squirts spent his first few days of life lying in a bilirubin blanket because he was born jaundice. “Blanket” sounds nice and cozy. It was more like a mini-tanning bed/straight jacket combination that gave off this eerie blue glow day and night.
  • Eleven months later found Squirts in the Gulfport emergency room with an I.V. rehydrating his little body after a long, high fever. Of course, he didn’t seem worried because his mommy was laying in the bed right next to him with her own I.V. being treated for pneumonia.
  • Then there was the time he flew off a spinning office chair and landed face-first on a toy truck. The screams were loud and the cuts were messy. But both passed. The vision of him flying from the chair as I continued to spin it may never leave my memory.

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At our house, we have recently graduated from Diego, Dora and Oswald cartoons to anything featuring a superhero.

Cue the “Hallelujah Chorus!”

I get the value of Diego, Dora and all their little friends for young children. I really do. (Though, don’t get me started on Oswald and his dog “Wienie.” What were they thinking?) When you compare the head pounding, foot stomping, hair pulling cartoons of my day to the problem solving, environmentally aware, multi-cultural cartoons of today, there really is no comparison in the educational value.

Entertainment value is a whole different thing.  After a couple of episode of Dora, I’m the one doing the head pounding, foot stomping and hair pulling.
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