July 2010

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Today, as I sit down to write this post, Squirts sees me pop open the computer and asks me what I’m doing. I tell him I’ve got a little work to do. He says he has work to do too, and asks if he could get on the other computer. For him, that work is ridding the world of bad guys and aliens on online games for kids.

And he takes his work seriously! He jumps up and down when he makes a good shot. He stands up in his chair and punches away at the keys as the action intensifies. The expressions on his face squeeze and pinch into shapes never seen before. He provides constant background dialogue of “Pow, pow!” “Get away you little guys!” “Hi-Yas!” and “Gotchas!” throughout the game.

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We were at Target buying a couple of birthday presents. Squirts had recently turned two and was standing in the cart as he and I headed to the toy section. Yes, I said standing in the cart, OK? And yes, I saw the pictogram with the slash through a child standing in the cart. But the people who draw those pictures have apparently never had a 2-year-old who wanted to stand in the cart. That’s not even the point of the story, so you can stop wagging your finger and read on.

Squirts’ mommy is hunting down a gift in another part of the store while we hit the toy aisle. As Squirts looks in awe and imagines what a life with this many toys would be like, I turn to the wall of Yu-Gi-Oh games we’ve come to pick up. While I try to decipher exactly what a Yu-Gi-Oh is, Squirts rattles on behind me about some toy he needs to take home.

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“Look at this Daddy!”

Standing in the backyard, I turn to see what Squirts wants to show me, and respond with appropriately faked enthusiasm, “Wow, it’s a grasshopper Squirts!”

“Yeah, and it’s dead!”

“Wow, and it’s dead Squirts!”

“Yeah, but look, it’s still has all its parts,” Squirts says as he holds up the small, fully intact, dried-up grasshopper.

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Bear